Pain if you don't.... Pleasure if you do!

We make decisions based off pain and pleasure claims Tony Robbins. Not physical but emotional. It has amazed me how “we” have conditioned thoughts of creating terrifying scenario’s. In our minds eye we see something not working out which, most of the time, never comes to reality.

What you need to do is stop focusing on your pain. Pain ultimately is more of a thought than it is real. Look at it this way, the thought of burning your finger with a match versus actually burning your finger. The thought in your head creates enough pain for you to avoid burning your finger. If we focus on what we classify as pain it creates emotion which leads to our behavior. The question is what’s your behavior?

Typically we spend too much time focusing on our pain. However the pain comes from our thoughts. And our behavior is to avoid the pain so we stop. What I suggest is you focus on pleasure. Focus on the pleasure of moving forward. Think of climbing a mountain. It takes a lot of work. You huff and you puff your way to the top. You’re climbing and looking at the top and you’re thinking I have such a long way to go. Did you ever take time to just stop and turn around and look how far you’ve actually gone up the mountain? We need to do more of that.

Focus on the pleasure, the things that you’ve done already. That’s so important. We need to celebrate. You don’t want to wait to achieve the goal and then celebrate because it could take awhile. Are you going to be miserable the whole time? No, that doesn’t make any sense. We need to celebrate more. We need to focus more on the pleasure than we do the pain.

What you need to start doing is breaking that pattern. Celebrate everyday for accomplishing your activities.

What is Fear?

What is a fear? Why do we have them? How do we get rid of them? Is there such a thing as being fearless?
What is fear? It’s difficult for many of my clients to explain. There’s the acronym F.E.A.R. False Evidence Appearing Real. I define fear as resistance to uncertainty. I’ve had clients say they fear success. What do they mean they fear success? Most of our lives are first scripted in our minds like a movie. Who are the author and producer? You are author, producer, actor and critic! If you don’t like the movie then you’ll make sure it never opens and premiers.
The movie I’m talking about is your thoughts. It’s your perception of how life might play out. Perception is meaning created by our senses. We have five senses see, hear, taste, touch and smell. The three main senses used the most in our thoughts are visual, auditory and kinesthetic (feeling). The other senses are used as well, especially when you think of your favorite pizza. Your mouth waters and you begin to smell the pizza. Guess what you have for dinner that night – salmon; not, pizza! It’s what they see in their minds eye. So when the client says, I fear success, he is seeing a future vision he doesn’t like. He visualizes himself closing activities which bring him results however he’s very concerned if he can continue to get the same results long-term. He’s wondering, “Will I have to work so hard the rest of my life?” “What will I sacrifice along the way?” These are thoughts where the three senses create a certain emotional feeling for him. This emotional feeling is very real. Emotion equals motion. When you’re movie (thoughts) produces feelings of doubt, anger and anxiousness. How much are you willing to commit and take action? Not much.
This story is both fiction and non-fiction. The fiction is his thoughts about success. Those thoughts have a great chance of never becoming reality. They only become reality once he stops and sabotages his action plan. That’s the non-fiction of his story. Remember the quote, “As he thinks, so he is.” His thoughts become his reality.

Happy Birthday Dad & Brother

Happy Birthday to my Dad and my brother Dan (12/9)! Life is beautiful and we need to celebrate it often. I wish them health and happiness.... I love you both.

Does a Point of Reference matter?

First of all let's define what I mean about a point of reference. A point of reference is a specific experience that you tend to go to very often. Otherwise said, your mind thinks about this event and will revisit it often. You develop a belief around this experience and it becomes your point of reference. So what does this all mean, well it means a lot rather you realize it or not. Now, the important question to ask, can a point of reference be good or bad? It can be both.

Let's take a look at an example, how about a good point of reference. An individual has been delivering presentations over the last couple years that have been going very well. This particular person had been very fearful of public speaking in the past. Now looking ahead his point of reference is I'm a growing speaker. This makes him feel great and confident and wanting more of public speaking.

Now let's check out an example of a bad point of reference. This individual has been really struggling with developing business and getting sales. He's a commercial loan officer and his primary role is to get new business. Because he's been struggling for quite some time he's developed a language pattern that he says too much. He'll often say, "I'd rather be mediocre instead of being a champion". He feels why work so hard and get so little. So his point of reference is mediocre instead of being a champion.

Is it clear that there's a difference between these two individuals? Can you see how the first person will grow and get results? And how the second will continue to struggle and truly be unhappy about his life. What is your point of reference? Is it serving you and bringing your life to the next level? Take some time to develop an empowering point of reference. Use it as much as you like and it will serve you.

Pennies to Success

Do you ever wonder how the heck you reach success? There are many theories and philosophies but what's really important is your very thinking. I'm an avid reader of books that help me live my potential. Jeff Olson the author of "The Slight Edge" is one of those books that really hit home. Jeff shares a story about a dying father who has two sons. The father wants to help his son's learn the value of decisions about their actions. He gives them two choices, take a million dollars now or take a box which has a penny inside. The box with the penny will double for 30 days. After they choose they need to come back and report their results. Well I'll leave what happens for you to find out. The moral of the story is that we need to do the actions that are simple to do but are also simple not to do. Success comes from compounding activities over time. Every day your actions are pennies, if you judge that specific day you only see pennies. You may get very discouraged and stop your actions. DON'T STOP. The Slight Edge by Jeff Olson is a must read.

Goal Setting for 2010

Well, the New Year is just around the corner, are you ready? I've had some clients tell me they are so ready for this year to be over. 2009 was a tough year. Well the New Year does reset the calendar however your current situation comes with it. Just because it's a New Year don't expect to wake up January 1st and all of your challenges have vanished. It's not going to happen. Life will bring us opportunities and challenges, that's a fact. What I strongly advise is to focus on what you control. That would be YOU. Remember the basic fundamentals hold tremendous value. So start today by setting goals for next year. There is a system for goal setting and I will coach on it in my upcoming teleseminar. Just click on the title of this blog for details. Get ready for 2010 and make it a fabulous year.

Thank You Jim Rohn... Thank You

The inspirer and mentor, Jim Rohn, passed on December 5.... When I heard of this news my heart was sadden. I never personally met Jim but I have his lecturers on CD and DVD and I really enjoyed his message. His words have helped me personally and professionally. I admire what he has done in his lifetime and it truly inspires me. Zig Ziglar said "Help others get what they want and you'll get everything you want." Jim Rohn was a leader and put others first with a servant's heart.

Here's a tribute that was put together to learn more about a great man, http://tribute.jimrohn.com

Comments welcomed........