Are You Happy?

Five minutes had passed and my client had not called in for his coaching session. So I decided to call him, no answer. I left my usual message when a client doesn’t show on time. A couple days had passed and I hadn’t heard from him. On the third day, I received a call from his wife. When I answered my phone, I recognized his number on caller id but it wasn’t him. It was his wife.

Hearing her voice and not his confused me and I thought, “What is going on?”. She began by telling me she was a little behind in returning calls and apologized it took a couple days to get back to me. Then she told me why she was calling and not her husband. She told me her husband died in his sleep just a few day’s ago. I was floored by this news. I thought I just coached him last week. He was such a great person who had a wife a small child.

As she told me the news and replayed it over she became very emotional. She was still in shock herself. I was very sadden by the news and hurt for her and the child. Then she asked me a question. She had an understanding of the coaching process. She new our coaching relationship was open and her husband most likely shared his personal thoughts. She asked a few questions which of course I answered. Then there was a pause and she asked, “Was he happy?” 

Isn’t that the essence of life - happiness. She new her husband wasn’t able to take any of his possessions he had with him. However she wanted to know at his death was he happy in life.

Stop and think about your life for a moment. Are you happy? Do you know what makes you happy? We can get immersed in life and focus on to much. We often lose the true meaning of life. I’ve found so many people don’t live their truest values. I’ve also noticed people don’t know how to define happiness. We make it very difficult to be happy. We need to be very rich in order to be happy. Well what if you’re not rich with money? No happiness for you, yes - no?

Take a moment and write down what you really value in life. Make a list of at least 10 of your top values. If you value meaningful conversations then write it down. I’d recommend after your initial list to give it a day and come back. Do you still agree with your list. Now ask what would it take to live these values. Let’s use the meaningful conversations as an example. If your rule to live that value was to be able to speak with your closest relationships every day in person. Well what if they live halfway around the world?

Here’s the point, we have rules which determines our happiness. If your rule is to be in person with your closest friends but they don’t live near you. Do you see the problem? Don’t make happiness so difficult. Begin to live your values and keep the rules easy.

I'd love for you to be as happy as you want. Here's a great resource - FREE audio coaching tips Get them here

Your Mind Is The Story

How do you feel when you wake in the morning? When you wake up each morning your true feelings show. So are you happy... frustrated... upset...? We all have a story in us that creates a feeling. I like to refer to it as our program. Deep inside you there’s a program, think of it like a CD. This CD has been created by your experiences both directly and indirectly. Everything in your life has been recorded. Our emotion is the glue.

So lets say when you were young you gave a presentation at school. And lets say it didn’t go so well. You were really nervous and very self conscious. You fumbled through it, stuttered at times. So nervous it was obvious to your classmates. Emotionally it was pretty intense. This was recorded into your mind. The fear that was created was the glue. This experience wouldn’t be forgotten and most likely would become part of your story.

What’s the story? It could fit into many but seems very natural to fit under the “I’m not a good public speaker” . You could have a much harsher story such as, “I’m a horrible public speaker”. You’d tell yourself, “I’ll never do that again”. Which then would go under the “I’m not good enough”. 

So here’s the thing, you don’t wake up each morning with that specific story. As time passes stories begin to get stacked on each other. However you may wake up feeling behind, stressed, maybe confused. If this has been going on for some time that’s because the program has been running. That CD inside you has been running with all the stories. 

You’ve created a behavior from these stories that have been running. So become aware of your behaviors. Do you feel lazy? Or are you the opposite, always on and can’t seem to stop doing? The stories we live by have given strength to our inner voice. Yes, we have a voice inside us that we hear every day. This voice is with you, this voice is there first thing in the morning. What does the voice tell you when you awake? 

As long as you let the voice ramble on the story will continue. You may need to think about this so you can become aware of your voice. We all have one and it loves to control us. If you wake each morning and seem to be unhappy it’s because the voice says you need to do more. You haven’t done enough. You won’t experience freedom because the voice won’t allow it.

So here’s your plan of action. Simply become aware of the voice. Don’t battle it, just hear it. Learn what it tells you and how you use to respond to it’s commands. You are not that voice. Nows the time to hear your authentic voice. Your true voice has been spoken over most of the time. Now’s the time to let it shine. Speak your truth and your life will begin to change. You’ll wake up each day feeling so much better.

Audio coaching tips available Click Here

20 seconds of courage...

Over the weekend my family watched "We bought a zoo" starring Matt Damon. It was a very good movie and I'd recommend it. I felt it had a good message and it grabs your heart. Matt Damon plays a dad who loses his wife and left with two children. They move out of the city to the country and purchase a zoo. Matt's brother in the movie gave him a principal to live by. You only need 20 seconds of courage. I love that message! One example in the movie and how he applied it was how he met his wife. He said to himself, "I only need 20 seconds of courage". So he went and introduced himself. Another example was making a decision on what to do about the zoo. I'll leave that for you to watch.

I love the principal that you only need 20 seconds of courage! What would be different in your life if you where courageous for 20 seconds?

This is a true story which gives it even more meaning.

I Want Freedom!

Men, I have a question for you? Do you want balance in life or freedom? Yesterday my wife had some time with her girlfriends which I of course supported her. Later in the day she asked, “What do you need?” I didn’t have an answer in the moment. Usually, I think in the context of being balanced. If we are working to much, we want something else. Well after some time passed, I had this high energy thought come through me. I WANT FREEDOM! It made total sense. Balance isn’t as important to men as the finish line. Let’s challenge that thought. When you watch a sports game you love the battle with a time frame. The finish or completion of the game is freedom. We like knowing there’s an end. Does this make sense? Where in your life do you want more freedom? Get clear on what it looks like and take action.

Hope... Cope... Or get it Done!

Hope... Cope... Or get it Done!

Alright men here’s a situation that maybe you’ve encountered. You have a household dilemma. You learn that the dryer is having issues and not drying the clothes. Oh for you men who have no idea what a dryer is. After your clothes come out of the washer, they need to be dried. They are then placed into the dryer. Okay so now that we got that clear. Back to the dilemma. So once I heard the dryer wasn’t working properly, I was hoping it would fix itself. Oh come on, like you never did the same. I just don’t want to fuss with the damn thing. I’m not an appliance repair guy. Well, I got involved with it once the official repair guy come over.  We were told the heat gismo wasn’t working. After dealing with two different repair guys, the heat gismo was fixed. At least that’s what we thought. As the clothes were piling up we were happy to have it fixed. I was also happy not having to purchase a new dryer. Well after throwing a load in my wife said, “It’s not drying....” Great!!! I thought this was water under the bridge. Over and done. Now I had to cope with a supposedly fixed dryer that’s not drying the clothes. I remember the repair guy telling me as he finished the job. He said, “You need to make sure the ventilation is good so clean the hose. I’m thinking, “Whatever my friend, I wrote you a check and it’s done”. Well after many more attempts of drying, my wife reported back about three times longer to dry.

I spoke with the repair guy and he asked if I cleaned the hose. Yea, sure I did. He actually asked again and when I did it. He knew who he was speaking too, a guy. I wasn’t completely B.Sing him. I cleaned the front where it supposed to collect the lent.

Get it Done! My little experience is an example of how we as men show up. As men we’d be so much better if we step up the first time and just get it done. Well after I got off the phone with the repair guy. I made a decision to clean the tube out. He said if there’s poor ventilation the moisture won’t get out which is the reason the clothes aren’t drying completely. 

After about an hour worth of work I cleaned the tube. It was pretty stuffed up. Have you gone through the hope... cope... behavior? Is there something in your life where you need to step up and get it done? Go for it, face it and get it done. 

Get registered for my upcoming teleseminar http://bit.ly/menstrong 

Until next time brother...

Darryl

Success 2012 Virtual Event!

You realize 2012 is right around the corner, don't you? Well are you excited? A new year, a clean slate and a new beginning... Or is it just a different number to write on your check? Have you lost your excitement about the new year because the previous ones didn't seem to work out. Well join me in Success 2012 a virtual seminar. I'm hosting it and have hand picked 12 other transformational speakers. There's a wonderful mix of personal strategy along with business. The common thread they all bring to the seminar is abundance of energy! You'll want to be part of the seminar because it will give you a natural and organic boost. How you want 2012 to look is completely up to you. You can make 2012 different by doing something different. Remember the definition of insanity; doing the same stuff expecting different results. Change your approach in life and join us in the seminar. Oh by the way it's complimentary so get registered now http://bit.ly/success2012reg

Think and Grow Rich Teleseminar - Desires

Napolen Hill author "Think and Grow Rich" is a classic with so much to offer. That's why I decide to use it as a teleseminar. This week I'll be discussing Desires. If you want to make a difference in your life you'll need to do your part. I've always felt investing in my own well being was so important and simple. However the things that are important and simple are easy to do. They are also easy not to do. Invest in yourself and join the "Think and Grow Rich" series. To get registered for the teleseminar click link http://bit.ly/djigrow