I have found the number one stressor in people’s lives is money. Over the last couple of years this has been devastating for so many people. What has been the real issue? Should the economy take the full blame? How about those financial institutions that gave the money for nothing to people who shouldn’t of had in the first place. Well we can play the blame game all day long. That won’t resolve anything.
I see it this way – everyone has taken their part in the situation. The people borrowing the money and the financial institutions are both responsible. The question is why? The answer is very simple – human needs. Money is a vehicle that helps people meet their needs. Money was so easy to borrow even though most weren’t qualified. Purchasing that bigger home gave that person the feeling of success. It made them feel significant which is a human need.
What can we learn from this financial disaster? Human needs need to be met at any cost. It’s so important to choose the right vehicle to meet our needs. Money can be a dangerous vehicle. It’s more of a false illusion of success or meeting the need of significance.
The real source of the issue is human emotion. Our emotions lead us to meet our needs. People want success which means a bigger house. The money was easily available so they grabbed it and purchased a home. Emotions are the source of our actions. We need to know how we’re meeting our needs. If you want to feel successful and significant find a vehicle that’s good for you and good for others.
Wednesday, January 20, 2010
Monday, January 18, 2010
Daily actions compound to success
Success comes one day at a time. I believe there’s so much mystery around success. I actually think people believe it is just going to knock on their front door and say, “I’m here”. We have this instant gratification mentality. We want success now! What is success? Unfortunately, most people measure success by things; money, cars or house. If they don’t have these things, well, then they don’t feel successful.
I’d like to offer you an alternative approach to feeling successful. I’ve personally coached hundreds of people all over the world. So many of them have said, “I know what to do (actions)”. These actions for the most part are simple to do. Here comes a very important distinction – there also simple not to do. We have a choice everyday to do these simple actions or not to do. This is the secret to success. Success doesn’t just show up some day. There is a compounding effect of your actions. By the time you admit you’ve reached success most of the work was done a long-time ago. What you need to do to reach success are actions that are simple to do and simple not to do. Those who are successful understood this theory and disciplined themselves. Those who are still searching for success are dabblers. They don’t do the actions on a consistent basis.
Take one day at a time and make sure you reward yourself every day. Create a strong belief around this theory and allow it to serve you. Success is found when no one is looking – even you.
I’d like to offer you an alternative approach to feeling successful. I’ve personally coached hundreds of people all over the world. So many of them have said, “I know what to do (actions)”. These actions for the most part are simple to do. Here comes a very important distinction – there also simple not to do. We have a choice everyday to do these simple actions or not to do. This is the secret to success. Success doesn’t just show up some day. There is a compounding effect of your actions. By the time you admit you’ve reached success most of the work was done a long-time ago. What you need to do to reach success are actions that are simple to do and simple not to do. Those who are successful understood this theory and disciplined themselves. Those who are still searching for success are dabblers. They don’t do the actions on a consistent basis.
Take one day at a time and make sure you reward yourself every day. Create a strong belief around this theory and allow it to serve you. Success is found when no one is looking – even you.
Thursday, January 14, 2010
Concentrate, Focus & Resolve
The lack of focus is one of the biggest challenges with my clients. They can’t put their attention on one task. This drives them crazy because they know this is preventing them from achieving their goals. However their not sure how to fix it. They don’t understand why they can’t see their project through to the end. What they do know is they hate themselves for having this behavior.
I’d like to share a few ideas on how to keep your focus and accomplish your goal. First you must be very clear on what you want. Let’s take a look at an example, how about losing weight. If you’re goal is to feel better or lose weight, you’re in trouble. That’s not a clear outcome, is it? If you don’t know what your target is how are you able to focus? Clarity is really simple but we make it so complicated. So it’s vitally important to get clear. I want to lose 20lbs by April, that’s clear.
Next, get over your story and get out of the way. People lack focus because they have a story why their unable to focus. I don’t have the time… money… skills etc. Your story is the life preserver to get you out of the sea of being uncomfortable. Notice you have a story and ask yourself, “If I choose to keep this story where will my life be in 3 years?” Get the story out of the way because it’s a self fulfilling prophecy.
Having an empowering belief is another nugget to help you stay focused and achieve your goals. Deep within us we have core beliefs that are guiding us unconsciously. We have surface beliefs such as I don’t have the time or I’ll make it happen. Yes these are conflicting but that’s what surface beliefs do. When you dig deeper something like “It will take too long to accomplish” comes out and that’s the limiting belief that guides you unconsciously. So condition a new empowering belief that will support you and most importantly keep you focused.
I’d like to share a few ideas on how to keep your focus and accomplish your goal. First you must be very clear on what you want. Let’s take a look at an example, how about losing weight. If you’re goal is to feel better or lose weight, you’re in trouble. That’s not a clear outcome, is it? If you don’t know what your target is how are you able to focus? Clarity is really simple but we make it so complicated. So it’s vitally important to get clear. I want to lose 20lbs by April, that’s clear.
Next, get over your story and get out of the way. People lack focus because they have a story why their unable to focus. I don’t have the time… money… skills etc. Your story is the life preserver to get you out of the sea of being uncomfortable. Notice you have a story and ask yourself, “If I choose to keep this story where will my life be in 3 years?” Get the story out of the way because it’s a self fulfilling prophecy.
Having an empowering belief is another nugget to help you stay focused and achieve your goals. Deep within us we have core beliefs that are guiding us unconsciously. We have surface beliefs such as I don’t have the time or I’ll make it happen. Yes these are conflicting but that’s what surface beliefs do. When you dig deeper something like “It will take too long to accomplish” comes out and that’s the limiting belief that guides you unconsciously. So condition a new empowering belief that will support you and most importantly keep you focused.
Wednesday, December 23, 2009
Pain if you don't.... Pleasure if you do!
We make decisions based off pain and pleasure claims Tony Robbins. Not physical but emotional. It has amazed me how “we” have conditioned thoughts of creating terrifying scenario’s. In our minds eye we see something not working out which, most of the time, never comes to reality.
What you need to do is stop focusing on your pain. Pain ultimately is more of a thought than it is real. Look at it this way, the thought of burning your finger with a match versus actually burning your finger. The thought in your head creates enough pain for you to avoid burning your finger. If we focus on what we classify as pain it creates emotion which leads to our behavior. The question is what’s your behavior?
Typically we spend too much time focusing on our pain. However the pain comes from our thoughts. And our behavior is to avoid the pain so we stop. What I suggest is you focus on pleasure. Focus on the pleasure of moving forward. Think of climbing a mountain. It takes a lot of work. You huff and you puff your way to the top. You’re climbing and looking at the top and you’re thinking I have such a long way to go. Did you ever take time to just stop and turn around and look how far you’ve actually gone up the mountain? We need to do more of that.
Focus on the pleasure, the things that you’ve done already. That’s so important. We need to celebrate. You don’t want to wait to achieve the goal and then celebrate because it could take awhile. Are you going to be miserable the whole time? No, that doesn’t make any sense. We need to celebrate more. We need to focus more on the pleasure than we do the pain.
What you need to start doing is breaking that pattern. Celebrate everyday for accomplishing your activities.
What you need to do is stop focusing on your pain. Pain ultimately is more of a thought than it is real. Look at it this way, the thought of burning your finger with a match versus actually burning your finger. The thought in your head creates enough pain for you to avoid burning your finger. If we focus on what we classify as pain it creates emotion which leads to our behavior. The question is what’s your behavior?
Typically we spend too much time focusing on our pain. However the pain comes from our thoughts. And our behavior is to avoid the pain so we stop. What I suggest is you focus on pleasure. Focus on the pleasure of moving forward. Think of climbing a mountain. It takes a lot of work. You huff and you puff your way to the top. You’re climbing and looking at the top and you’re thinking I have such a long way to go. Did you ever take time to just stop and turn around and look how far you’ve actually gone up the mountain? We need to do more of that.
Focus on the pleasure, the things that you’ve done already. That’s so important. We need to celebrate. You don’t want to wait to achieve the goal and then celebrate because it could take awhile. Are you going to be miserable the whole time? No, that doesn’t make any sense. We need to celebrate more. We need to focus more on the pleasure than we do the pain.
What you need to start doing is breaking that pattern. Celebrate everyday for accomplishing your activities.
Thursday, December 17, 2009
What is Fear?
What is a fear? Why do we have them? How do we get rid of them? Is there such a thing as being fearless?
What is fear? It’s difficult for many of my clients to explain. There’s the acronym F.E.A.R. False Evidence Appearing Real. I define fear as resistance to uncertainty. I’ve had clients say they fear success. What do they mean they fear success? Most of our lives are first scripted in our minds like a movie. Who are the author and producer? You are author, producer, actor and critic! If you don’t like the movie then you’ll make sure it never opens and premiers.
The movie I’m talking about is your thoughts. It’s your perception of how life might play out. Perception is meaning created by our senses. We have five senses see, hear, taste, touch and smell. The three main senses used the most in our thoughts are visual, auditory and kinesthetic (feeling). The other senses are used as well, especially when you think of your favorite pizza. Your mouth waters and you begin to smell the pizza. Guess what you have for dinner that night – salmon; not, pizza! It’s what they see in their minds eye. So when the client says, I fear success, he is seeing a future vision he doesn’t like. He visualizes himself closing activities which bring him results however he’s very concerned if he can continue to get the same results long-term. He’s wondering, “Will I have to work so hard the rest of my life?” “What will I sacrifice along the way?” These are thoughts where the three senses create a certain emotional feeling for him. This emotional feeling is very real. Emotion equals motion. When you’re movie (thoughts) produces feelings of doubt, anger and anxiousness. How much are you willing to commit and take action? Not much.
This story is both fiction and non-fiction. The fiction is his thoughts about success. Those thoughts have a great chance of never becoming reality. They only become reality once he stops and sabotages his action plan. That’s the non-fiction of his story. Remember the quote, “As he thinks, so he is.” His thoughts become his reality.
What is fear? It’s difficult for many of my clients to explain. There’s the acronym F.E.A.R. False Evidence Appearing Real. I define fear as resistance to uncertainty. I’ve had clients say they fear success. What do they mean they fear success? Most of our lives are first scripted in our minds like a movie. Who are the author and producer? You are author, producer, actor and critic! If you don’t like the movie then you’ll make sure it never opens and premiers.
The movie I’m talking about is your thoughts. It’s your perception of how life might play out. Perception is meaning created by our senses. We have five senses see, hear, taste, touch and smell. The three main senses used the most in our thoughts are visual, auditory and kinesthetic (feeling). The other senses are used as well, especially when you think of your favorite pizza. Your mouth waters and you begin to smell the pizza. Guess what you have for dinner that night – salmon; not, pizza! It’s what they see in their minds eye. So when the client says, I fear success, he is seeing a future vision he doesn’t like. He visualizes himself closing activities which bring him results however he’s very concerned if he can continue to get the same results long-term. He’s wondering, “Will I have to work so hard the rest of my life?” “What will I sacrifice along the way?” These are thoughts where the three senses create a certain emotional feeling for him. This emotional feeling is very real. Emotion equals motion. When you’re movie (thoughts) produces feelings of doubt, anger and anxiousness. How much are you willing to commit and take action? Not much.
This story is both fiction and non-fiction. The fiction is his thoughts about success. Those thoughts have a great chance of never becoming reality. They only become reality once he stops and sabotages his action plan. That’s the non-fiction of his story. Remember the quote, “As he thinks, so he is.” His thoughts become his reality.
Tuesday, December 15, 2009
Happy Birthday Dad & Brother
Happy Birthday to my Dad and my brother Dan (12/9)! Life is beautiful and we need to celebrate it often. I wish them health and happiness.... I love you both.
Monday, December 14, 2009
Does a Point of Reference matter?
First of all let's define what I mean about a point of reference. A point of reference is a specific experience that you tend to go to very often. Otherwise said, your mind thinks about this event and will revisit it often. You develop a belief around this experience and it becomes your point of reference. So what does this all mean, well it means a lot rather you realize it or not. Now, the important question to ask, can a point of reference be good or bad? It can be both.
Let's take a look at an example, how about a good point of reference. An individual has been delivering presentations over the last couple years that have been going very well. This particular person had been very fearful of public speaking in the past. Now looking ahead his point of reference is I'm a growing speaker. This makes him feel great and confident and wanting more of public speaking.
Now let's check out an example of a bad point of reference. This individual has been really struggling with developing business and getting sales. He's a commercial loan officer and his primary role is to get new business. Because he's been struggling for quite some time he's developed a language pattern that he says too much. He'll often say, "I'd rather be mediocre instead of being a champion". He feels why work so hard and get so little. So his point of reference is mediocre instead of being a champion.
Is it clear that there's a difference between these two individuals? Can you see how the first person will grow and get results? And how the second will continue to struggle and truly be unhappy about his life. What is your point of reference? Is it serving you and bringing your life to the next level? Take some time to develop an empowering point of reference. Use it as much as you like and it will serve you.
Let's take a look at an example, how about a good point of reference. An individual has been delivering presentations over the last couple years that have been going very well. This particular person had been very fearful of public speaking in the past. Now looking ahead his point of reference is I'm a growing speaker. This makes him feel great and confident and wanting more of public speaking.
Now let's check out an example of a bad point of reference. This individual has been really struggling with developing business and getting sales. He's a commercial loan officer and his primary role is to get new business. Because he's been struggling for quite some time he's developed a language pattern that he says too much. He'll often say, "I'd rather be mediocre instead of being a champion". He feels why work so hard and get so little. So his point of reference is mediocre instead of being a champion.
Is it clear that there's a difference between these two individuals? Can you see how the first person will grow and get results? And how the second will continue to struggle and truly be unhappy about his life. What is your point of reference? Is it serving you and bringing your life to the next level? Take some time to develop an empowering point of reference. Use it as much as you like and it will serve you.
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