Wednesday, November 6, 2013
So you probably heard the saying, “You've got two ears, one mouth, so you should listen twice as much than you talk.” There's so much truth in that. But here's the real situation. People struggle with listening. Do you truly feel like you're being heard from somebody? Or are they just there, not truly engaged? You don't feel like they're present?
Well, this is the deal. If you want to change that, you have to change that with yourself. There's three levels of listening. Level one is when someone is talking and you are literally saying, “What's this mean to me?” How am I going to get involved in this?” So at level one there’s one main question you ask inside your head. What does this mean to me. That's level one.
Level two is engagement. You're really listening to the person. You're looking to find out what's their values? What's missing in their life? So you're really, really, really focussed, and you are present, and you are engaged. That's level two.
Level three. Level three listening, is hearing the unsaid. You can feel what they're feeling. You can feel what's going on around them and understand their environment. This is an extremely powerful level. So, where do you think most people listen? What level? Well, if you said level one you're right. Most people are at level one, but here's the secret. If you want to go from level one and begin to live in a place of level two. Where you are really focused on that person, and then really entertain yourself with going to level three at times.
Here’s the secret. You have to take the focus off yourself, and you have to put it on the other person. That's the secret. It's simple, but if you do that people will feel that you're present. You won't necessarily have to solve anything for them. They'll want you around a lot more. You'll become a more effective leader. People will come to you more. It's that powerful.
So go out and play at level two, and entertain level three. Level three is really feeling the unsaid. You know them better than they know themselves in that situation. So the power of listening is about listening more than you talk, and you'll make a huge difference. You'll get results for yourself, but also those who are around you.
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