Pain if you don't.... Pleasure if you do!

We make decisions based off pain and pleasure claims Tony Robbins. Not physical but emotional. It has amazed me how “we” have conditioned thoughts of creating terrifying scenario’s. In our minds eye we see something not working out which, most of the time, never comes to reality.

What you need to do is stop focusing on your pain. Pain ultimately is more of a thought than it is real. Look at it this way, the thought of burning your finger with a match versus actually burning your finger. The thought in your head creates enough pain for you to avoid burning your finger. If we focus on what we classify as pain it creates emotion which leads to our behavior. The question is what’s your behavior?

Typically we spend too much time focusing on our pain. However the pain comes from our thoughts. And our behavior is to avoid the pain so we stop. What I suggest is you focus on pleasure. Focus on the pleasure of moving forward. Think of climbing a mountain. It takes a lot of work. You huff and you puff your way to the top. You’re climbing and looking at the top and you’re thinking I have such a long way to go. Did you ever take time to just stop and turn around and look how far you’ve actually gone up the mountain? We need to do more of that.

Focus on the pleasure, the things that you’ve done already. That’s so important. We need to celebrate. You don’t want to wait to achieve the goal and then celebrate because it could take awhile. Are you going to be miserable the whole time? No, that doesn’t make any sense. We need to celebrate more. We need to focus more on the pleasure than we do the pain.

What you need to start doing is breaking that pattern. Celebrate everyday for accomplishing your activities.

What is Fear?

What is a fear? Why do we have them? How do we get rid of them? Is there such a thing as being fearless?
What is fear? It’s difficult for many of my clients to explain. There’s the acronym F.E.A.R. False Evidence Appearing Real. I define fear as resistance to uncertainty. I’ve had clients say they fear success. What do they mean they fear success? Most of our lives are first scripted in our minds like a movie. Who are the author and producer? You are author, producer, actor and critic! If you don’t like the movie then you’ll make sure it never opens and premiers.
The movie I’m talking about is your thoughts. It’s your perception of how life might play out. Perception is meaning created by our senses. We have five senses see, hear, taste, touch and smell. The three main senses used the most in our thoughts are visual, auditory and kinesthetic (feeling). The other senses are used as well, especially when you think of your favorite pizza. Your mouth waters and you begin to smell the pizza. Guess what you have for dinner that night – salmon; not, pizza! It’s what they see in their minds eye. So when the client says, I fear success, he is seeing a future vision he doesn’t like. He visualizes himself closing activities which bring him results however he’s very concerned if he can continue to get the same results long-term. He’s wondering, “Will I have to work so hard the rest of my life?” “What will I sacrifice along the way?” These are thoughts where the three senses create a certain emotional feeling for him. This emotional feeling is very real. Emotion equals motion. When you’re movie (thoughts) produces feelings of doubt, anger and anxiousness. How much are you willing to commit and take action? Not much.
This story is both fiction and non-fiction. The fiction is his thoughts about success. Those thoughts have a great chance of never becoming reality. They only become reality once he stops and sabotages his action plan. That’s the non-fiction of his story. Remember the quote, “As he thinks, so he is.” His thoughts become his reality.

Happy Birthday Dad & Brother

Happy Birthday to my Dad and my brother Dan (12/9)! Life is beautiful and we need to celebrate it often. I wish them health and happiness.... I love you both.

Does a Point of Reference matter?

First of all let's define what I mean about a point of reference. A point of reference is a specific experience that you tend to go to very often. Otherwise said, your mind thinks about this event and will revisit it often. You develop a belief around this experience and it becomes your point of reference. So what does this all mean, well it means a lot rather you realize it or not. Now, the important question to ask, can a point of reference be good or bad? It can be both.

Let's take a look at an example, how about a good point of reference. An individual has been delivering presentations over the last couple years that have been going very well. This particular person had been very fearful of public speaking in the past. Now looking ahead his point of reference is I'm a growing speaker. This makes him feel great and confident and wanting more of public speaking.

Now let's check out an example of a bad point of reference. This individual has been really struggling with developing business and getting sales. He's a commercial loan officer and his primary role is to get new business. Because he's been struggling for quite some time he's developed a language pattern that he says too much. He'll often say, "I'd rather be mediocre instead of being a champion". He feels why work so hard and get so little. So his point of reference is mediocre instead of being a champion.

Is it clear that there's a difference between these two individuals? Can you see how the first person will grow and get results? And how the second will continue to struggle and truly be unhappy about his life. What is your point of reference? Is it serving you and bringing your life to the next level? Take some time to develop an empowering point of reference. Use it as much as you like and it will serve you.

Pennies to Success

Do you ever wonder how the heck you reach success? There are many theories and philosophies but what's really important is your very thinking. I'm an avid reader of books that help me live my potential. Jeff Olson the author of "The Slight Edge" is one of those books that really hit home. Jeff shares a story about a dying father who has two sons. The father wants to help his son's learn the value of decisions about their actions. He gives them two choices, take a million dollars now or take a box which has a penny inside. The box with the penny will double for 30 days. After they choose they need to come back and report their results. Well I'll leave what happens for you to find out. The moral of the story is that we need to do the actions that are simple to do but are also simple not to do. Success comes from compounding activities over time. Every day your actions are pennies, if you judge that specific day you only see pennies. You may get very discouraged and stop your actions. DON'T STOP. The Slight Edge by Jeff Olson is a must read.

Goal Setting for 2010

Well, the New Year is just around the corner, are you ready? I've had some clients tell me they are so ready for this year to be over. 2009 was a tough year. Well the New Year does reset the calendar however your current situation comes with it. Just because it's a New Year don't expect to wake up January 1st and all of your challenges have vanished. It's not going to happen. Life will bring us opportunities and challenges, that's a fact. What I strongly advise is to focus on what you control. That would be YOU. Remember the basic fundamentals hold tremendous value. So start today by setting goals for next year. There is a system for goal setting and I will coach on it in my upcoming teleseminar. Just click on the title of this blog for details. Get ready for 2010 and make it a fabulous year.

Thank You Jim Rohn... Thank You

The inspirer and mentor, Jim Rohn, passed on December 5.... When I heard of this news my heart was sadden. I never personally met Jim but I have his lecturers on CD and DVD and I really enjoyed his message. His words have helped me personally and professionally. I admire what he has done in his lifetime and it truly inspires me. Zig Ziglar said "Help others get what they want and you'll get everything you want." Jim Rohn was a leader and put others first with a servant's heart.

Here's a tribute that was put together to learn more about a great man, http://tribute.jimrohn.com

Comments welcomed........

Split Second to Success

If I told you that a split second separates you from success would you believe me? Well over the last month this thought came to me when observing my five year old son Blake. He just started his first organized sport – soccer. Well, the organized part is debatable. However after watching the boys play in the game and at practice, I noticed the little guys had a pause before action. As the season went on I could tell which boys played before. Their pause was limited and didn’t happen as often. They also seemed to score all the goals too. So why do the boys hesitate anyways? Let’s take a look at what might be going on with the pause or hesitation. I don’t think it has to do with their physical ability. Their knowledge for the game seems equal, just kick the ball. The difference between the boys who hesitate versus those who don’t boils down to their thinking. The cause is their conscious mind and subconscious too. Will I get hurt? What am I doing? What do I do with the ball? I’m confused with all these boys around me… So it’s their mind that causes the hesitation. The boys who have played before have developed a different mind for the game. Their hesitation has been limited and they get better results. So what’s your hesitation been holding you back from? Have you had opportunities right in front of you that were lost? Did you see them as opportunities when presented or just more work? You hesitated, “I don’t have time” or “I don’t have the money” or “I don’t blah, blah, blah”. What’s going on with the little boy’s playing soccer isn’t any different with what’s going on with you. Your hesitation is stopping you from getting results. In order to eliminate the hesitation you need to just act. It comes down to the split second that determines results.

The crazy eight of emotions

Do you realize you live your life experiencing about 6 to 8 emotions? Oh, yes there are so many more emotions to feel and live. However, we've become very dependent on certain emotions and we've conditioned them so well its difficult to break away. The crazy eight of emotions has to do with you going from the good emotions; happy, confident and determined. To the other side which I refer to as the unresourceful emotional states; hopeless, overwhelmed and frustrated. As you look at the picture see the right side of the horizontal eight as your resourceful emotional states. Each side of the crazy eight represents the emotions you experience the most. So on the right side you have happy, confident and determined. And, on the left side you have hopeless, overwhelmed and frustrated. The process of the crazy eight is you going from side to side. The goal is to live your life on the right side, the resourceful emotions. Awareness is key to create change this is happening in your life. What side of the crazy eight are you living? You're human so it's okay to experience unresourceful emotional states. The bigger question for you, how long do you live there? The more you live a life wearing happiness, excitement, determination, passion, commitment.... the more life you live!

Are you prehistoric?

Watch out the dinosaur's are back...! Okay, I'm just kidding and I'm sure you didn't believe me (I hope you didn't). I want to use the dinosaur as a metaphor. As humans one need that's very important is growth. Are you growing or becoming extinct like the dinosaur's? What I've found as a great point of measurement of personal growth is how comfortable you are. How comfortable is your life? Do you find it easy going and possibly a little boring? When we live in the circle of comfort we aren't living an exciting life and we're definitely not growing. So what does it take to get outside of the circle of comfort? Well first you have to make a decision you want more from life. Then raise your standards in your personal and professional life. Whalla... Don't become extinct and live a comfortable life. Live a rich bold life full of possibility! What decision can you make right now to take your life to the next level? Take action NOW.

Enjoying summer before it passes you by...

When my coaching call begins I often ask my client, "What victories did you have last week?" There's usually a pause then they'll typically say, "not much". This is a very common pattern with many clients. After I ask the question their mind searches for something to report. If it's not big enough they reply "not much". Okay here's the lesson - we have victories all around us. We need to pay attention and take notice of the smiles of our loved ones. That we live in a country where we can dream as big as we want. So take notice right now, it's a perfect time of the year to enjoy the warmth and summertime play. You have so many victories in your life so begin to focus on them. Here's one of my victories, coaching my little 4 year boy golf. Watch out Tiger....

Live your mission,

Darryl

Perception - Training Video

Are you still giving your customer the perception of value. You need to be very careful what emotional feelings you're creating for the customer. If you're negative and down they won't perceive that you have any value. If they don't feel you have confidence in getting the job done then they won't have confidence in you. So always remember that perception of value is a standard that needs to be high. This will help keep the relationship together in tough times. Please watch my video (less that 1 minute) by clicking the title or link below.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OR0K6BeM4C8

Live your mission,

Darryl

Get Results TODAY! Mid Year Check

Well its July and the beginning of the second half of 2009! How's your year going? Are you progressing toward your goals that you set in January? Did you set goals in January? Regardless where you're at you can have an amazing 2009. Go to my youtube training video and get a refresher on setting goals.

You can click on the title or the link below:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UmEt9hjIbac

Live your mission,
Darryl

P.S. Comments are welcomed

Karma

Do you believe in Karma? Let's first define, Karma is action. The meaning around Karma is either good action or bad action, either way it will come back to you. So if you help an elder carry their groceries out to their car that's good Karma. This good action will come back to you as it goes out into the universe. How? That depends maybe a week later you get a nice compliment on your work... You never know, the theory behind Karma is that you do good things now and good things will come back to you. On the flip side if you do bad things then bad things will happen to you. So go out into the world and be a servant of good and the universe will pay you back.

Book review - "As a man thinketh"

With so much focus on this poor economy its imperative to take care of our thoughts. If you keep listening to the media and the negative people around you, you're going to have bad thoughts. That's why I highly recommend "As a man thinketh" by James Allen. This book will enlighten you on how important your thoughts are directly related to your happiness. It's a very read and a great resource to turn to as much as needed.

Closing the Gap

When I see a bridge it reminds me of connecting to points A and B. In life we have a lot of bridges to cross. Well at least we should unless were taking an alternate route. Taking an alternate route most likely will be longer and its possible you may not get to your destination. What bridges are you crossing in your life right now? Are you crossing too many bridges and struggling? You need to decide what's the most important bridge to cross right now. Assess where you are, get clear, before you keep "trying" to cross. The most important action is to know "why" you want to cross the bridge. Then compile a list of actions that will propel you over the bridge to the other side! So remember, get clear, know why you want to cross in the first place and take massive action. Please visit http://www.askresultscoach.com/ as a resource for your success.

There's no straight line to success.

Do you ever wonder why you started, a goal, in the first place. Before you started in your mind's eye it seemed easy, a straight shot. Then you get into it and realize how difficult it is or how slow it seems to be progressing. The reality is anything worth going after takes a fair amount of energy and it's not a straight line. You have to stay the course and find instant gratification in your actions. Remember the actions are easy to do and there also easy not to do. The difference between the person growing and achieving success is their commitment to do the actions all the time. And, you need to give time for your goals to come to fruition. You don't plant a tomato seed and expect to pick tomato's the next day, do you? So remember that its not a straight line to success. Enjoy the journey!

Inspiration by environment

Aloha!

My family arrived here in Kaua'i Hawaii and it is paradise. Over the last couple of days, I've really noticed my mind open and become so much more clear. Life is demanding but let's face it, we make it that way. When you get out of the busy environment you'll notice different thoughts enter your mind. My thoughts have been inspiring and bigger just from last week. So find time to get out of the normal routine and environment and get away. Hey, if you can come to a place like Hawaii more power to you. Oh, by the way you can have anything you want in life - life is short so play big and make it happen!

Live your mission,

Darryl