Thursday, December 17, 2009

What is Fear?

What is a fear? Why do we have them? How do we get rid of them? Is there such a thing as being fearless?
What is fear? It’s difficult for many of my clients to explain. There’s the acronym F.E.A.R. False Evidence Appearing Real. I define fear as resistance to uncertainty. I’ve had clients say they fear success. What do they mean they fear success? Most of our lives are first scripted in our minds like a movie. Who are the author and producer? You are author, producer, actor and critic! If you don’t like the movie then you’ll make sure it never opens and premiers.
The movie I’m talking about is your thoughts. It’s your perception of how life might play out. Perception is meaning created by our senses. We have five senses see, hear, taste, touch and smell. The three main senses used the most in our thoughts are visual, auditory and kinesthetic (feeling). The other senses are used as well, especially when you think of your favorite pizza. Your mouth waters and you begin to smell the pizza. Guess what you have for dinner that night – salmon; not, pizza! It’s what they see in their minds eye. So when the client says, I fear success, he is seeing a future vision he doesn’t like. He visualizes himself closing activities which bring him results however he’s very concerned if he can continue to get the same results long-term. He’s wondering, “Will I have to work so hard the rest of my life?” “What will I sacrifice along the way?” These are thoughts where the three senses create a certain emotional feeling for him. This emotional feeling is very real. Emotion equals motion. When you’re movie (thoughts) produces feelings of doubt, anger and anxiousness. How much are you willing to commit and take action? Not much.
This story is both fiction and non-fiction. The fiction is his thoughts about success. Those thoughts have a great chance of never becoming reality. They only become reality once he stops and sabotages his action plan. That’s the non-fiction of his story. Remember the quote, “As he thinks, so he is.” His thoughts become his reality.

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