Wednesday, November 6, 2013

The Power of Listening

So you probably heard the saying, “You've got two ears, one mouth, so you should listen twice as much than you talk.” There's so much truth in that. But here's the real situation. People struggle with listening. Do you truly feel like you're being heard from somebody?  Or are they just there, not truly engaged?  You don't feel like they're present?

Well, this is the deal. If you want to change that, you have to change that with yourself. There's three levels of listening.  Level one is when someone is talking and you are literally saying, “What's this mean to me?” How am I going to get involved in this?” So at level one there’s one main question you ask inside your head. What does this mean to me. That's level one.

Level two is engagement. You're really listening to the person. You're looking to find out what's their values? What's missing in their life? So you're really, really, really focussed, and you are present, and you are engaged. That's level two. 

Level three. Level three listening, is hearing the unsaid. You can feel what they're feeling. You can feel what's going on around them and understand their environment. This is an extremely powerful level. So, where do you think most people listen? What level? Well, if you said level one you're right. Most people are at level one, but here's the secret. If you want to go from level one and begin to live in a place of level two. Where you are really focused on that person, and then really entertain yourself with going to level three at times. 

Here’s the secret. You have to take the focus off yourself, and you have to put it on the other person. That's the secret. It's simple, but if you do that people will feel that you're present. You won't necessarily have to solve anything for them. They'll want you around a lot more. You'll become a more effective leader. People will come to you more. It's that powerful. 

So go out and play at level two, and entertain level three. Level three is really feeling the unsaid. You know them better than they know themselves in that situation. So the power of listening is about listening more than you talk, and you'll make a huge difference. You'll get results for yourself, but also those who are around you. 

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Saturday, October 26, 2013

Getting Out of a Rut

So what exactly does it mean to be in a rut? Well, number one is if you feel like you're stuck, you feel like you're not moving forward, but you're conscious and aware that you can be doing so much better. You're in a rut. What get's us in a rut? Well, pretty much what we choose to focus on. We might have been let down from all our results that we are not getting. We could be overwhelmed. Typically we're focusing on what's not working really well in our life. That just beats us down. You know it might take a month, it might take a week, depending, but eventually it just gets you down. And then you don't do much. You're still active, but you're disappointed because you know you can be doing so much better. 

So that's what puts us in a rut. So the question is, how do you get out of a rut? It's like eating an elephant. I don't eat to many elephants. I don't know if you do, it's more of a metaphor. You can't eat an elephant with one bite. That's what most people do to try to get out of a rut. Everyone wants to go really really fast. We put too much on our plate and can't get it done which results to frustration. Which ultimately keeps us in a rut. 

So the strategy I recommend with my clients that I am coaching, is start doing the little things. I mean the real small things that give you some momentum. Yeah, initially you're going to beat yourself up, and say, “So what this was so small who cares”. You can't have that voice anymore. You need to do the little things. Start telling yourself, “That was pretty good, I did that!” Then you move on to the next task... Then the next task... You start accumulating some progress, and it starts to feel pretty good. 

You might not even want to admit it, but you're going to think this feels pretty good. What will happen when you take little steps? You’ll start taking action and you’ll also start noticing other things to do. Your focus will begin to change for the better. You’ll start building some momentum up. When you're feeling good you’ll shift into the good energy. Once that happens you can put a little bit more on your plate. Then you can start redefining between tasks and your goals. You get the picture? We all want to move forward and make progress. However the ultimate goals is to achieve life results. 

So if you're in a rut don’t stay there. I hope that strategy works for you. Just remember to become aware that you are in a rut. You need to get in action and start to move even if it means on small actions. 

To your happiness and success.

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Sunday, February 24, 2013

How To Stay Focused

How to Stay Focused

If I had a dime for every client that told me that they can’t stay focused, I'd be a millionaire.  So often that's what I hear from my clients. They tell me, “I can’t stay focused” or “How do I stay focused?”  I want to address this issue and give you some strategy to break this block.  First you really don't have a problem focusing.  It's just a matter of what you're focusing on.  You find yourself somewhat distracted, you’re focusing on a lot of different things.  The real issue below what you’re focusing on are your limitations.  You have limiting beliefs about your ability so the process is I'll keep changing my mind, keep focusing on different things so I can distract myself.

So this is what you need to do, first understand you have a limiting belief. You may not know it consciously but it is there and it's holding you back.  And it's making you focus on too many things.  If you really want real power, you have to channel your energy.  You probably understand and realize this already. So you need to bring to the surface your limiting beliefs. How you elicit those, bring them out, is set a really huge goal.  Hey if you're making $30,000 a year, put a goal out there to make $300,000 a year.  And what's going to happen is you’re going to just feel all the fears and limitations come to the surface, the I can't, it's not possible, I'm not educated, I'm too old, I'm too young.  It all comes to the surface.  

So once again, how you draw out the limitations from your subconscious mind all of our limiting stuff is you have to set a big goal. A goal that you would love to achieve but there's a lot of doubt.  All of that stuff comes out.  You start identifying them.  Write them down.  You probably weren’t aware of them in that moment, but as you set a big goal it will start coming through, coming out of you.  You need to take note of these limitations.  Capture those limitations.  There’s a real simple process is to eliminate. You need to associate with the pain if you choose to live with this limitation. Take the limiting belief you’ve identified and get very associated to what life would look like 1 year out and go out as far as you wish - 30 years. You need to associate to the pain that this is holding you back in your life.  

See it's not that you can’t focus.  The real underlying issue is you have limitations.  
You have limiting beliefs holding you back. The behavior we have is we keep changing our minds, focusing on different things.  Set a big goal, let all the feelings come up.  Take note of those, and choose if I live with this limitation way out into the future, what’s life going to look like.  Associate to the pain.  After you do that, create a new empowering belief, a belief that gets you so excited.  If the present belief is “I can't do this” or “I'm too young”. Make the new belief, “I have all of the energy” or “I'm in the perfect place of my life”.  Create a new empowering belief and now see what that belief does down the road a year, three, five or 10 years.  It gives you a different feeling.  Keep doing this process.  

All you’re doing is you’re flushing out all the garbage and then you're replacing it with a new empowering belief.  This is a daily ritual.  It will change the way you feel.  You'll begin to become more focused on what you really want to do in your life. You’ll start to have breakthroughs and begin to play bigger in life.. So enjoy, live with joy and happiness.  To all your success. Learn more and Discover Your Greatest Life online audio coaching program!